1) “My ex used to do that too!” - Comparing your current partner to an ex is not, under any circumstances, a good idea.It is a recipe for disaster as your other half wonders why this ex is on your mind in the first place.Next time you experience boyfriend or girlfriend déjà vu, do yourself a favour and keep it on the down-low.
2) “Don’t you think [insert relevant name] is pretty/handsome?” -The first trap you set up for your partner with this question is if they disagree with you. We’ve all done it; they disagree and you brand them as a liar and say you wouldn’t have minded if they agreed with you in the first place (Pfft, of course they can say that someone else is attractive – you’re not that insecure!). The second major pitfall that your partner runs a high risk of falling into is agreeing with you. ‘Yes’ they say, ‘she/he is gorgeous’, and boom – they’ve been figured out. You knew they fancied this person all along. Mind games aren’t a good recipe for a successful relationship, so avoid them at all costs.
3) Don’t drool over the opposite sex - Some people don’t struggle with an answer when asked if they think someone else is attractive.Yep, this is an invitation for you to gush to your lover about how much hotter he/she is, so be tactful with your reply. Try something along the lines of “She/he is alright, but they’ve got nothing on you”. Oh you little charmer!
4) “Can we wrap this sex session up? [Insert favourite TV show] is on in five” -Cutting off a sex session is a big time deal breaker.
5) “I’m fine”, when really you’re not" - The classic passive-aggressive comment “I’m fine”, when you’re clearly annoyed that your other half has just switched channels without asking your permission first, creates all sorts of trouble for ten minutes time. As you sit there wallowing in your own little bubble of anger, you feel the tension building in the air and you’re both just sat there waiting for the other person to talk to break the stressful atmosphere. By the time you get around to actually solving the first problem, you’ve created a whole string of others by being in such a mood in the first place. You’ve both said things you didn’t mean and now you’re just in a tangled web of problems that could easily have been avoided. When asked if you’re okay, use this is an opportunity to outline what’s bothering you, not a chance to feel sorry for yourself and create a drama.
6) “Do you think it’s wise to eat that?” -Asking your lover if they really think it’s wise to be eating the chocolate smothered doughnut that is about to disappear into their mouth is a bad move by anyone’s standards, particularly if your partner is female.
7) “What are you thinking riiight... NOW?” -It’s a question that some of us like to hurl at our partners when they’re least expecting it. We say it so fast that our other half doesn’t have the chance to make up a false reply or even to think straight, which leads him/her to stutter, and then we accuse them of thinking of their ex or having rude thoughts about someone else. The chances are, they were just pondering what they’re having for tea or how to tackle a difficult situation at work, but when put on the spot they can’t really remember what they were thinking, let alone put it into a coherent sentence. Even if they did happen to be thinking of having sex with a porn star or getting back with an ex, the last thing they’ll do is admit it so this will never really be a constructive question unless they answer “thinking of you”, but then we’d probably tell them they’re lying anyway. Our partners simply can’t win.
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