What is love?

If stress was a drug, I would be so high right now. Sometimes, some lessons are learned best through pain. Never, even in my wildest dream have I imagined myself going crazy over some 'boy'. Well, isn't it amazing how he was once just a stranger, then suddenly mean the world to me? I definitely got so attached and I feel so sorry for myself. Remember, no one will ever tell you you're beautiful without expecting something in return. You know what i mean? One day, he made me feel extra special, that I'm his princess and that he would do everything for me and that he would never leave me. And then came one day when I just woke up from that sweetest nightmare. Now, he is looking forward to some days without me. And that he doesn't like me. And he doesn't want to love me anymore. Then I asked myself, did he really love me? Do i really love him? 

What's love by the way? You see, we are no experts when it comes to love. You think you are strong, then here comes Love & Life and fucks with you with all its might and just like that. You have to deal with it or it'll get you killed. If you think of it, life is supposed to be simple. All we want is to be loved by someone that we love. In the long run, I believe that love gives you the greatest surprises in your life. Watch out for it! 

          I still love him to the moon and back, though. ♥ 

Romantic Relationship Versus Friend With Benefits

It's the age old face-off between love and sex, and nobody but you can make the trade-off!

So, given the choice, would you opt for old-fashioned romance or a friendship with benefits?

A friend with benefits, a relationship that Wikipedia describes as both physical and emotional, yet without the demands or extra commitment of a more formal romance. But when it comes to the real world, how do you decide whether a friend with benefits arrangements is better than a real relationship?

Here are the various criteria that will help you decide whether old-fashioned romance or a casual sexual partnership is best for you:

Criterion 1: Do you place greater value on sexual fulfillment or cuddling?

Romantic relationships demand that you cuddle your partner before, during, and after sex. Remember that old saying that women give sex to get love, and that men give love to get sex? It still holds true. Many women have an unwritten 'no cuddles, no sex next time' policy.

         A friend with benefits doesn't claim to love you or expect anything from you. They're in it for the sex alone. Yes, there are women who think this is a sensible equation, but these women are more likely than not in their late twenties or thirties...how do you feel about this?

Criterion 2: How do you define intimacy?

A romantic relationship involves cosy evenings under the stars, (expensive) candlelight dinners, hand-holding in parks and cinema halls. How does this go down with you?

A friend with benefits defines intimacy as stellar performances between the sheets. This calls for a robust stamina, among other things, and a healthy self-assurance. How do you rank on these two prerequisites?

Criterion 3: What ranks higher with you, sexual gratification or love and affection?

A romantic relationship demands that you place your partner's needs above or at least at par with your own. Women think that real love is making sacrifices, even though they might not make too many that really benefit you.

A friend with benefits is purely concerned with satisfying her own sexual needs, and she knows that you too must derive enough pleasure from each encounter for the arrangement to continue. But the overt need for self gratification in a woman might take on a certain crudeness...aren't women supposed to be all coy and feminine?

Criterion 4: How important is communication for you?

A romance feeds and thrives on communication, both in the form of platitudes like frequent declarations of undying love, and in detailing your every thought and deed to your partner. If you're not comfortable with sharing, you will be branded as emotionless and unfeeling.

A friend with benefits doesn't need to recount the details of boring meetings with her boss or inane conversations with her mother. She won't have time to listen to you grumble about work pressure or your long commute either. Call her up when you have good news; bad news must be dealt with yourself. If you need to express yourself to someone, a friend with benefits isn't the first person you should think of calling.

Despite the faint contempt that society views casual sexual relationships with, an increasing number of urban men and women are resorting to friends with benefits option today. On the other hand, a reputation around town as a 'player' might forever sully your name in the marriage market, and come mid-thirties, everyone (you too) would want to settle into the comfort of a good marriage.

Source: Yahoo News

How To Make Your Love Last

"I still see her the same way I did when we first met," replied the 80-something-year-old man when asked about the secret to keeping his marriage so strong

• Take them for who they are—warts and all  ----As the old adage goes: 'take me for better or for worst, but don't take me for granted.'"

• Know your partner's language of love. ---When we put our partner in a box and expect them to do things because you do them that way or your best friend's husband or wife does it that way, we'll be disappointed when they don't live up to it. Understand how your partner expresses their love, and appreciate that."

•  Don't sweep issues under the rug. "There are times when we forgo confrontation to keep the peace. That's good sometimes, but if either of you suddenly becomes irritable, then it's time to talk."

•  Go long distance. "Being apart has its benefits. The distance is a good thing in a way because you don't ever get 'tired' of the relationship. It also helps ensure that we have a life outside the relationship, which is a healthy thing, long distance or not. 

•  Take chances. "Be excited to live life every day and experience new things. This type of attitude will definitely show in your actions and show your partner that there is always something great for you two to experience together or even apart. Who wants to be with a boring person? Even if you don't expect your partner to do a new activity with you, just having him (or her) see and feel your zest for life will show him (or her) that being with you is fun and exciting."

Source: Yahoo News

Survival tips for the Broken-Hearted

"It’s not the end of the world, even if it sure feels like it."

When the love of your life tells you that it’s over, and it feels like your world has come crashing down round you, what do you do? How are you going to stay sane throughout all this?

1)  Know that it takes two

“Always realize that a relationship involves two different individuals,” she says. “You should be asking yourself, ‘Where did we go wrong?’ Never put the blame on one person. Remember, it takes two to make a relationship work.” 

2) Get to the bottom of things

If your ex wasn’t a jerk about the breakup and is still willing to be friends, Banzon says you can ask him to help you realize where both of you went wrong. Learn from the mistakes of your relationship. Talk to him calmly, after all the tears have been shed, when you’re feeling stronger and not so vulnerable anymore. But if it was a bad breakup, then maybe you should skip this part and move on to the next suggestion.

3) Work on yourself 

It will be impossible not to dwell on your breakup and what your ex could be doing at every possible moment, but if you force yourself to shift focus, you may be able to get over this sooner. 

“Take this time to assess yourself and how you can best improve yourself,” says Banzon. 

If you were able to talk to your ex and reach some conclusions about why your relationship suffered, Banzon says you can then work on your weaknesses. But if you didn’t, then make a list of what you want to improve in your life—and finding another boyfriend should not be on it yet (beware the rebound relationship!). Take a class, volunteer for a good cause, start a small business. Get out there and get busy!

4) Move on the right way

This is a choice you have to make for yourself, says Banzon. First of all, you need to be willing and ready to let go of your ex, your relationship, and being someone’s girlfriend. “Moving on is when you tell yourself, ‘Enough is enough,’” she says. “But it doesn't happen overnight. It’s a process.” 

What it all boils down to is choosing to love yourself despite everything that’s happened. Even if you made a fool of yourself, stalked your ex (and not just on Facebook), and turned all your friends away because all you could talk about was your broken heart, there is still hope. Once you have made the decision to focus on and love yourself, you’ll notice that your disastrous relationship is something you could actually live with and leave in the past.   

“Do not get stuck with the pain and the bitterness,” adds Banzon. Do not stay angry at your ex and believe that it means you have moved on. It doesn’t. “It can destroy you even more,” she says. 

What you need to realize is, "Ako naman": two simple but powerful words that express that you want to love yourself this time while you still can and are able to.”  

Source: 

7 Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Partner

1) “My ex used to do that too!” - Comparing your current partner to an ex is not, under any circumstances, a good idea.It is a recipe for disaster as your other half wonders why this ex is on your mind in the first place.Next time you experience boyfriend or girlfriend déjà vu, do yourself a favour and keep it on the down-low.

2) “Don’t you think [insert relevant name] is pretty/handsome?” -The first trap you set up for your partner with this question is if they disagree with you. We’ve all done it; they disagree and you brand them as a liar and say you wouldn’t have minded if they agreed with you in the first place (Pfft, of course they can say that someone else is attractive – you’re not that insecure!). The second major pitfall that your partner runs a high risk of falling into is agreeing with you. ‘Yes’ they say, ‘she/he is gorgeous’, and boom – they’ve been figured out. You knew they fancied this person all along. Mind games aren’t a good recipe for a successful relationship, so avoid them at all costs.

3) Don’t drool over the opposite sex - Some people don’t struggle with an answer when asked if they think someone else is attractive.Yep, this is an invitation for you to gush to your lover about how much hotter he/she is, so be tactful with your reply. Try something along the lines of “She/he is alright, but they’ve got nothing on you”. Oh you little charmer!

4) “Can we wrap this sex session up? [Insert favourite TV show] is on in five” -Cutting off a sex session is a big time deal breaker.

5) “I’m fine”, when really you’re not" - The classic passive-aggressive comment “I’m fine”, when you’re clearly annoyed that your other half has just switched channels without asking your permission first, creates all sorts of trouble for ten minutes time. As you sit there wallowing in your own little bubble of anger, you feel the tension building in the air and you’re both just sat there waiting for the other person to talk to break the stressful atmosphere. By the time you get around to actually solving the first problem, you’ve created a whole string of others by being in such a mood in the first place. You’ve both said things you didn’t mean and now you’re just in a tangled web of problems that could easily have been avoided. When asked if you’re okay, use this is an opportunity to outline what’s bothering you, not a chance to feel sorry for yourself and create a drama.

6) “Do you think it’s wise to eat that?” -Asking your lover if they really think it’s wise to be eating the chocolate smothered doughnut that is about to disappear into their mouth is a bad move by anyone’s standards, particularly if your partner is female.

7)  “What are you thinking riiight... NOW?” -It’s a question that some of us like to hurl at our partners when they’re least expecting it. We say it so fast that our other half doesn’t have the chance to make up a false reply or even to think straight, which leads him/her to stutter, and then we accuse them of thinking of their ex or having rude thoughts about someone else. The chances are, they were just pondering what they’re having for tea or how to tackle a difficult situation at work, but when put on the spot they can’t really remember what they were thinking, let alone put it into a coherent sentence. Even if they did happen to be thinking of having sex with a porn star or getting back with an ex, the last thing they’ll do is admit it so this will never really be a constructive question unless they answer “thinking of you”, but then we’d probably tell them they’re lying anyway. Our partners simply can’t win.

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welcome to blogspot

hey blogspot! we meet at last. :) kasalanan to ng proxy sa office eh. iblock ba nman lahaaaaat ng nagbibigay aliw na sites. nakakainis. wala na ngang twitter wala pang tumblr. ang meron lang yahoo news? hello nman dun sa mga babasahin na un. sakit sa ulo! pero infairness 'tong blogspot eh puro din babasahin. pero mas interesting nman ung topics dito. (sana)

anyway, this blog is about everything. everything under the sun, moon and stars. just everything. 

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